It’s so normal to experience survivor’s guilt.
✨everyone’s process is different- respect your own process so you can respect others’ processing ✨
I have to speak on this as it is a massive component of what I am moving through my Maui clients daily.
Survivor’s guilt — those feelings of shame or regret experienced by someone who lived through a crisis — can take many forms: discomfort with feeling joy or positive emotions, remorse for actions taken or not taken.
This nagging voice wonders, “Why me?” when others didn’t make it.
Those who belong to communities that have been directly affected may feel guilt for making it when so many loved ones have not.
Those in more privileged circumstances may feel guilt for being on the fortunate end of an unfair system.
OR guilt for feeling so much emotionally when they are physically unaffected.
✨
My clients coming to me for healing sessions say, “I shouldn’t be this depressed; other people have it worse,” or “I wasn’t even evacuated. What is wrong with me?” and “I am not even Hawaiian, so I do not have the right to feel so much.” And “I feel like I should/could be doing more.
Then we feel a double whammy of I feel guilt for feely guilty.. YIKES!!!! And it is a normal reaction.
If you’re in pain and suffering, that’s valid and real.
You need to be slightly egocentric and focus on your suffering to feel, heal, and let it go.
People are really bad at judging their own brand of misery and feelings.
Sometimes, we feel that if we release some of our guilt, fear, and anger, I am not honoring those who suffered or passed and lost everything.
Trauma affects those directly exposed to it and those around them.
Trauma also triggers old traumas desiring to be healed.
Things that can help:
1️⃣Restoring relationships and community is central to restoring well-being -Connect with those that will fill your cup right now.
2️⃣Language gives us the power to change ourselves, to define what we know – allow yourself and your truth to be expressed with a safe person.
3️⃣We can regulate our body via breath, movement, and somatics – find somewhere to move and breathe to release trauma stored in the body.
4️⃣We can create environments where children and adults feel safe and can thrive – This can be a corner in your home or a natural place.
All Trauma is a plot twist in life, and the fires here in Maui have been one of the most devastating, unexpected, and horrific imaginable.
This week has felt like a month, and it has been a burrito of emotions of deep sadness, immense beauty of people, some not-so-beautiful things, safety and trust, and fear and distrust.
FEEL it and MOVE it to HEAL it
I pray that you go easy on yourself, continue to relieve shame and guilt, and allow yourself to help how you can and tend to your inner needs.
Choose ways to help yourself and your community in your own way with your gifts physically, energetically, financially, front lines, back lines, and anything in between.
Your heart and your intentions are what matters.
You are never alone…
Love,
Trish