What if either/or could be Both and More?
What does it actually mean to get what you want?
In order to understand this, we have to look first at the underlying reasons you might not want to get what you want.
Consider this: If it was okay to get what you want, you would have it already.
If there’s something you want that you don’t have yet, there are vitally important reasons why.
I used to think I had to stay in one place and not travel so much order to have a successful career. Then I learned how to create the life I want and realized I can have both.
I have been coaching clients on diving into belief and identity transformation starting with a concept called “Ecology”, which is a fancy, advanced way to describe the collection of beliefs that represent all the underlying reasons for staying stuck, or not giving ourselves permission to go after or receive what we want.
Humans have 3 basic needs:
- Love
- Safety
- Belonging
…and our Critter Brain’s job is to keep these 3 needs intact at ALL times and Self-sabotage is really your Ecology at work, doing whatever it can to keep love, safety and belonging intact.
When it comes to making a total transformation, even beyond habit change, Ecology is the key factor.
Why is this true?
Because when you can shift your own Ecology, you can shift your beliefs and your identity. And when you can shift beliefs and identity, you can shift the way you experience yourself and the world.
Your personal Ecology is based on your programming.
We make decisions very early on based on this programming that become our strategies for keeping love, safety and belonging intact.
These strategies carry on in our adult life and become the basis of our patterns.
Ecology is all the unconscious reasons a person would continue to experience the same patterns over and over again.
No matter what the pattern, there is always a vitally important reason why you would, at some level, choose, to have a given experience, even a seemingly dysfunctional experience – such as bad relationships, money issues, weight fluctuations. The “vitally important reason” is your Ecology—your beliefs about what keeps love, safety and belonging intact. We become more comfortable with “wanting” than with “having”
What is it that you want out of life that you dont already have?